Answer by Oliver Starr:
In the bed or not in the bed – that is the question. While some of the other answers are cute I'm not sure they address your primary concern – that allowing your canine to share your bed might provoke problems when this request is subsequently rejected. I feel your pain.
First let me address the cleanliness aspect: dogs should not be bathed every day or even very often. Especially with soap. Doing so actually causes them to become dirtier because even mild soaps strip natural oils from the dog's coat that actually allows it to be self cleaning. The oils don't allow dirt to stick and they prevent the coat from becoming overly tangled or matted. Better to keep your dog well brushed and then use a damp or dry towel to remove dirt. (unless the animal has rolled in something foul in which case a night (or three) outdoors, or a bath might be in order. Wiping the feet is an especially good idea since that's the part of a dog that is most likely to track things you don't want into your bed. If you are one of those people that's obsessed with cleanliness, if you carry a lint brush in your purse and know where every cleaning attachment for your vacuum cleaner is located, a dog in the bed is probably not for you!
Second issue is pests: do you live in an area where fleas or ticks are endemic? Does your dog tend to get fleas or ticks? Are you using a flea or tick preventative like Frontline Plus (or in serious cases a Preventic collar)? Is Lyme disease prevalent in your area? Do you sleep sans clothing? If you answered yes to the pests (as opposed to the dress) you might want fido to stay in his or her own bed. Waking up flea bit or carrying a few embedded passengers is the cost of a cozy canine should pest issues be part of your equation.
Third others in the bed: do you live alone? do you have guests that come and might share your bed? Does your dog think that you're his or her human? All these factors should also guide you in your decision, and depending upon the size of your canine they might be the most important of all. Here's why: dogs are territorial. One of the reasons dogs circle and scratch before they lay down is to put their scent into their bedding – in effect, claiming it. If you make your bed, your dogs bed, don't be surprised if they become possessive over it. If you usually sleep alone and bring a stranger into your bed and therefore want it to be "dogless" at least for the night, don't be surprised if your pooch is none too pleased.
This could mean on the spot bad behavior (like a night spent howling, scratching at the door, marking around the house, etc) or even overt hostility to your guest. You might even have the dog decide to reinforce his or her claim to the bed by urinating or defecating in it since that's how dogs mark their territory. They're not being dirty, They're saying MINE! (and they're also removing the offensive scent of the interloper in the process — dogs are no dummies!)
On the balance these are a lot of drawbacks in order to be cozy with your canine. That said, the warmth, companionship and bond you can achieve by allowing your animal to share your bed can be well worth it if your a real "dog" person.
Now for a personal anecdote: as those of your that have read my profile heading and some of my posts know, I live a rather unique lifestyle in that I actually do frequently sleep next to a wolf. This is not an exaggeration as you can see from the photo above. When I say it's wild kingdom in my bed almost every night, I'm being literal and I'm really not bragging 😉
While I dearly love sleeping sandwiched between my wife and my wolf there's a price. Of course my wife doesn't mind because the chances of another woman sharing this bed are pretty much nil. As it stands I think the only reason Aqutaq lets Thanya (my wife) in the bed is because she also raised her, but she definitely wants to share the bed with me. In hotels it's even worse. Since Aqutaq doesn't have her own bed, we share the bed. Motel 6 (which is spectacularly dog-friendly) considers double beds adequate. Aqutaq does too, but only because I get all of 8 inches and a foot in my face most of the night! If there's only one bed in a room, guess who gets the floor? No, not Aqutaq. It's a good thing I married an understanding woman.
So… if you love canines, don't mind the hair, some dirt and the occasional trespassing critter, snuggle up. Otherwise make fido a comfy place he or she can call their own.
Me and 200 plus pounds of canine cozy in bed at a Motel 6